Finny, the Amazing Little Brother

I was six months pregnant when we learned of Hudson’s official diagnosis. Hudson was 2.5 years old. We had wanted a second child for quite some time, but the timing was off because Matt was working out of town 60% of the time and I knew I couldn’t handle 2 children on my own that often. When he finally found a job that didn’t require travel, we decided it was time for another. I never imagined a world where Hudson didn’t have a sibling.

However, learning of Hudson’s diagnosis while pregnant was less than ideal and made for a stressful pregnancy. We were in the midst of trying to sell our house, attempting to find a full set of therapists (he did not have OT or PT when he was diagnosed and would soon be aging out of early intervention, which required new therapists for speech and special instruction as well), and we were also looking for a “school” type of environment to get him into. All of which was recommended when he was diagnosed (minus the house selling, that was just us being extra crazy). When you’re in a rural area like we are, none of these are easily accessible options.

On top of all this, we found out we were having another boy. A blessing for sure, but I was worried. Would this child be on the Spectrum too? Boys are four times more likely to be diagnosed with Autism than girls and honestly, that scared me. This is clearly somewhere in our genes and I spent way too much time googling what the odds were that we would have two Autistic children. I knew it was silly, and that I had zero control over it. Besides, Hudson is an awesome child and we are so lucky to have him, but there was just so much unknown at the time.

Finnley was born in November 2018, and it’s been a rollercoaster ride ever since. His first six months of life he did nothing but cry and eat. He didn’t sleep. I thought for sure something was wrong with him even though he continued to hit all his milestones. I would go to his pediatrician crying and say to them that sleeping in 30-minute increments is not normal, crying nonstop is not normal. It all had to mean something. They told me he was just a very colicky baby and within a few months it would all subside. I always joke and say I’m not sure who cried more that first year; Finn or me.

Finn is now 17-months old and I like to call him my little sour patch kid. He’s sour and then sweet. He’s also so smart, funny and fearless. I am 99% sure he is not on the Spectrum. He knows at least ten animal sounds (and some dinosaur sounds, thanks to Hudson), says a new word a day, copies our every move and is a climbing machine. At four years old, Hudson does all this too of course, but he was not this fearless as a toddler. He was always so cautious, and he still is. Finn will easily climb on the couch or a ride on toy. I remember that being so hard for Hudson as a toddler. Many motor movements still are. And his words didn’t come for two years. With Finn, it’s a whole new ballgame.

Recently I was telling my friends how ruthless Finn can be and how we are constantly on our toes with him. They laughed and assured me “that’s a typical toddler.” Hudson was just so different; he was a cautious, sweet and well-behaved toddler. Whenever people would talk about how difficult the toddler stage was, I’d disagree and say it was my favorite. I still love it, but it is a little more challenging this time around.

I’m so grateful for both of my boys. I love how different they are because those differences have shown me that one way or the other is not best. They’re their own person and I love the little people that they are becoming.