Sometimes Things Get Hard

Hudson has amazed us with so many things in Kindergarten so far. He is reading miles above where he should be. His writing and coloring has improved drastically this year. He’s adored by many of the kids and teachers at his school.

But sometimes things get hard.

For all his successes, he has been struggling behaviorally. Sharing and waiting for his turn is really hard for him. His classroom teachers this year have said he often has issues following directions or staying focused, resorting to yelling when they give him a task to do that doesn’t align with his own agenda. He is incredibly competitive and has sadly had some violent incidents. His teachers have asked us for guidance on how to help him stay calm and regulate these behaviors. They have also expressed concern over his readiness for the increased workload he will face and the independence he will need in 1st grade next year.

Sometimes… things get hard.

The truth is that we don’t have the answers. We don’t have the training on how best to handle his outbursts. We can’t always tell the difference between typical 5 year old behavior and autistic child behavior, and we can’t tell his teachers how best to educate him. We don’t always know how to help our sweet, beautiful boy handle the challenges that he faces everyday. And we sure as hell wish we did.

Hudson is a truly amazing and intelligent kid; usually very loving, empathetic, and one who understands rules and routines. He isn’t a bad kid by any means, but we can tell that he’s struggling a lot this year. And getting Hudson to open up to us is always a challenge. Good or bad, he really doesn’t like to talk about his day. When it’s a particularly difficult day, he doesn’t remember what caused him to yell or push someone, or why he didn’t want to listen to his teachers. We always ask him “what happened?” when we get a bad report from his teacher. His response is pretty much always the same; either, “I DON’T KNOW!!” or he breaks down in tears.

Today was a rough one, with an incident that broke our hearts to hear about. When we asked him about what happened today, or what we could do to help him handle situations that trigger him, all he could say was:

“Sometimes things get hard.”

Yes they do, buddy. They really do.