The Big Change

As you might have noticed, it has been over a month since we last posted. Kayla and I were just talking the other night about how we need to get better about putting posts up. I guess it's like the gym... or cutting carbs... you get it in your mind to DO IT, then you think, "maybe I'll do it tomorrow." Our family has been preoccupied over the past ten weeks, preparing for a big change.

Two weeks ago, we sold our house.

203 Church Street was the only house that Hudson or Finnley had ever known. They took their first steps here, and have spent all but a handful of nights away from this place. Kayla and I poured our hearts (and wallets) into making 203 Church St be as perfect as it could be for our family. But, as time went along, we knew that it wasn't "enough" for us or our boys. We wanted something bigger, something better.

We started looking at houses about four years ago, but never found anything that was truly perfect for us. It was easier back then, too; we could search neighboring communities and school districts. There were lots of houses available, but nothing that quite met all of our needs for a "forever home." Kayla and I felt comfortable in taking our time and letting the real estate market come to us. We're thankful that our realtors stuck with us - four years is a LONG TIME to work for a commission!

Things changed drastically after Hudson's diagnosis. Since his therapies are largely coordinated with providers based on their geographical coverage area, we found changing school districts to be increasingly more complicated. In our county (and likely in many others), there are waiting lists for therapy services. We have heard of some instances where families have waited over a year for speech or physical therapy openings to come along. To move out of district meant jeopardizing his Pre-K enrollment, and meant that we would likely lose his current therapists and become wait-listed for others.

In late-February, we were approached about a property in the district that we had nearly purchased two years prior. Just as we were ready to submit a Purchase Offer and list our house for sale, NY state went on lock down for COVID. We could not list our house for sale while realtors were shut down, and so we waited. We were finally able to list our house in mid June, and were quickly under contract to sell. Fast forward two and a half months (which for us, was anything BUT "fast forwarding"), and we officially got a move-in date for our new home.

Kayla and I struggled all summer with how to approach the move with Hudson. Finnley is young enough that he would adapt to a new house with no concerns, but Hudson wasn't going to be so easy. We tried to repeatedly emphasize the benefits of the new house to Hudson, but he kept saying, "no, I don't want to move. I like it here." There were things about our old house that Hudson did not like. The yard was small, there was a lot of traffic in the village, and the fire whistle would go off for all emergency calls. With the fire department being less than a mile from us, I can assure you the whistle was quite loud, and reminiscent of the World War II bombing alarms that we would hear caught on film in History class. The new house was further out in the country (away from the fire whistle), and with a much larger lot. But none of that mattered to Hudson; he was happy where he was, and did not want to move.

We dreaded Moving Day with a passion, knowing that it would be the perfect storm of chaos and meltdowns (for us and Hudson). In most pre-COVID real estate transactions, you are given about two weeks notice prior to closing that you need to prepare to move. For us, we had FOUR DAYS NOTICE. Four days!! As we frantically packed in preparation for the move, Hudson wasn't really phased at all. He didn't seem to notice the boxes piling up, or the lack of pictures on the wall. Maybe the move wasn't going to be so bad after all...

Wrong. Moving Day was a disaster for Hudson. The flurry of people grabbing everything from inside the house was too much for him to handle. He spent the greater part of the morning crying, "why is the couch gone??? Where will we sit?? Where are my toys???" Poor Kayla was relegated to managing Hudson and Finnley while I tried to coordinate the heavy lifting. Before COVID, there were lots of places that either one of us could have taken the boys to be away from the chaos of moving. But during a pandemic, your options are practically non-existent.

As the dust settled on the move, and we settled into the new house, Kayla and I tried to quickly give the boys the comfort of our old home. Kayla had their toy room setup almost immediately, and the boys adapted right away. Less than three days after telling us how much he didn't want to move, Hudson told us how much he loved the new house.

Change is hard for all of us, and is often expected to be harder on children with Autism. Thankfully, Hudson showed us once again how amazingly resilient he can be, and adapted to his new environment quickly.