The Field Day (That Almost Wasn’t)

It’s no secret this year has been tough for Hudson, with one of his biggest triggers being PE. Winning, losing and accepting the fact that he isn’t as fast as his peers has probably been his/our biggest struggle.

When the principal announced we were bringing back Track and Field Day after a 2 year COVID hiatus, I felt paralyzed. I immediately tried to think of a plan to spare my child the heartbreak that would surely come from a morning full of athletic competition amongst his peers.

I decided that I would take a personal day and keep him home with me. We’d do something fun instead to keep his mind off of it. There was no changing my mind. I refused to subject Hudson to what would be torture for him. Not only did I think it would be torture for him but for his teachers, classmates… and even myself.

We talked to him about it and he said he’d prefer to stay home (for the record he’d choose being home over ANYTHING) and decided that was that. But as the day grew closer we started to question our decision.

His PE teacher assured me Hudson was doing great at practicing for the event during PE and that we could form a plan if things went awry. Matt reached out to the rest of his team who encouraged us to try it. Another autism mama also encouraged me to have him try it. She reminded me that yes these things are hard, but ultimately we also need to let them try them too.

So we decided to do it.

I was a nervous wreck when it came time, but I knew he had a ton of support if needed. His teacher let me sit with him, which I think helped both of us.

His first event was the high jump. I was shocked that this was something he chose as he had only learned to actually jump within the past year or two. He made it through the first round. Success! But then after the second round he didn’t make it. I watched his shoulders slump immediately and I was prepared to help in any way. As soon as he came to me I let him cry on my shoulder as I enveloped him in a big hug.

I thought for sure that was the end of it for us. After some crying and hitting and kicking the air, he went for a walk with his OT. He came back not long after and got a snack from his teacher and happily sat in a chair cheering on his classmates and offering them goldfish as they ran by.

The next event was the soccer kick. He kicked the ball twice and ran back to his classmates without a problem. Fortunately he wasn’t paying attention to the winner announcement and continued on in his merry way, playing in the grass and pretending that he was a dinosaur.

As Track and Field Day came to a close, he joined his class and went inside. Not a single tear shed or complaint about not winning.

We made it. He proved me wrong… proved that he CAN do hard things…and I’m so proud. Sometimes in trying to protect him we can also hold him back. I’m so thankful for his little army for opening our eyes to this.