The Triumphant Return of School Open House

Hudson's school conducted it's first Open House since the pandemic this week. And we were relieved to have this event return.

We have written in the past about how Open Houses/School Orientations make us feel like we are carrying a flashing sign containing all of Hudson's issues and triggers, where each one is rattled off to his new teacher like the side effects from a prescription drug commercial. You know the ones...

"Politely redirect him if he becomes too competitive."

"Take frequent walks during stressful times."

"Please call a parent if meltdowns last for more than four hours."

Prepping Hudson's teachers before the start of each school year is a painful thing for us as it requires us to sharpen our focus in on what we know (or at least THINK we know) to be areas of concern for him. All of his evaluations are readily available in his file for teachers to read; and for all the detail that they have, they are but just paragraphs on a page. Hudson reads more like a colorfully-illustrated novel that is a blend of challenges, amazing accomplishments, and dinosaur facts. There's simply not enough room on the page... not enough ink in the printer... to really tell the full story about him. Last school year taught us that we don't know everything, and that each year is likely to be different for him.

Like many parents, COVID prevented us from having an introductory meeting with Hudson's teachers last year. We missed the chance to have a conversation and share whatever pieces of advice that we had for them. Kindergarten started off very rocky for Hudson, and we're sure that's not a coincidence. As the school year came to a close (and not knowing what COVID protocols might be in place the following year), we encouraged the district to look into allowing parents with special needs children to have an opportunity to meet privately with their child's teachers for the upcoming school year.

We don't mean to take credit for this, but the district heard us loud and clear.

About a month ago, we received notification that Open House was returning for the upcoming school year... with a refreshing "twist". Each teacher would be available 30 minutes beforehand for any parents with special needs children to come in early for a more intimate and quiet session that isn't full of sensory overload. We know all too well how overworked and underappreciated teachers are, so to ask them to give up an extra half hour of their summer break for us (and in the final days before the start of the school year) was a tremendous accommodation that we gladly took full advantage of.

We were able to meet with Hudson's primary and CT teachers in a setting that was quiet and personal. There was no concern that we were taking too much of their time, and no distractions beyond Finnley's eagerness to meet his own teacher. The "flashing sign" of Hudson's story was dusted off and put on display, and we greatly appreciated the opportunity that we were given.

Being an educator is often a thankless job. It's certainly an underpaid one. From the bottom of our hearts... we greatly appreciate the Odessa-Montour Central School District, Hudson's teachers, and school support staff for willingly embracing the call to make themselves available to parents with special needs children prior to the craziness that is Open House. We know that it was far from a small sacrifice and it helped ease our concerns as Hudson heads into 1st grade.

On The Last Day of Summer School, You Get a Donut

On the last day of summer school, you get a donut.

Summer school was not something that Hudson was remotely interested in doing. He fought going a lot mornings with tantrums or dragging his feet to get ready, but we knew that he needed the social interaction and consistency this summer if we wanted the next school year to start off on the right foot.

And most days, Hudson seemed to enjoy himself. There were plenty of activities, field trips, and enough water play to help stay cool in the summer heat. We don't know if he made any new friends necessarily, but he would tell us most every day that he "had fun." To our knowledge, the truly rough days that he had during the school year were few and far between. After school time was spent going on adventures with Mom/Dad and Finn, playing with Rex, and countless hours in the pool.

This summer was full of its own challenges, though. Numerous doctors appointments... blood tests... having to go under anesthesia for an MRI... and a bit too much time sharing the same space with his little brother. Adding Rex to the family has brought a lot of joy and entertainment, but it's also restricted our ability to take off and go places for more than a few hours.

We've managed to survive all that summer has thrown our way. And for that, I think Mom and Dad get a donut, too.

The Field Day (That Almost Wasn’t)

It’s no secret this year has been tough for Hudson, with one of his biggest triggers being PE. Winning, losing and accepting the fact that he isn’t as fast as his peers has probably been his/our biggest struggle.

When the principal announced we were bringing back Track and Field Day after a 2 year COVID hiatus, I felt paralyzed. I immediately tried to think of a plan to spare my child the heartbreak that would surely come from a morning full of athletic competition amongst his peers.

I decided that I would take a personal day and keep him home with me. We’d do something fun instead to keep his mind off of it. There was no changing my mind. I refused to subject Hudson to what would be torture for him. Not only did I think it would be torture for him but for his teachers, classmates… and even myself.

We talked to him about it and he said he’d prefer to stay home (for the record he’d choose being home over ANYTHING) and decided that was that. But as the day grew closer we started to question our decision.

His PE teacher assured me Hudson was doing great at practicing for the event during PE and that we could form a plan if things went awry. Matt reached out to the rest of his team who encouraged us to try it. Another autism mama also encouraged me to have him try it. She reminded me that yes these things are hard, but ultimately we also need to let them try them too.

So we decided to do it.

I was a nervous wreck when it came time, but I knew he had a ton of support if needed. His teacher let me sit with him, which I think helped both of us.

His first event was the high jump. I was shocked that this was something he chose as he had only learned to actually jump within the past year or two. He made it through the first round. Success! But then after the second round he didn’t make it. I watched his shoulders slump immediately and I was prepared to help in any way. As soon as he came to me I let him cry on my shoulder as I enveloped him in a big hug.

I thought for sure that was the end of it for us. After some crying and hitting and kicking the air, he went for a walk with his OT. He came back not long after and got a snack from his teacher and happily sat in a chair cheering on his classmates and offering them goldfish as they ran by.

The next event was the soccer kick. He kicked the ball twice and ran back to his classmates without a problem. Fortunately he wasn’t paying attention to the winner announcement and continued on in his merry way, playing in the grass and pretending that he was a dinosaur.

As Track and Field Day came to a close, he joined his class and went inside. Not a single tear shed or complaint about not winning.

We made it. He proved me wrong… proved that he CAN do hard things…and I’m so proud. Sometimes in trying to protect him we can also hold him back. I’m so thankful for his little army for opening our eyes to this.